Cachinnation from an Agelast

Fickle and fatuous. Canoodling a fard. Donnybrooks ensue. A rambunctious ra-tard.

Smellfungus shenanigans. A quean’s delight. Pettifoggers malarkey. Not a goombah in sight.

Sufferin’ succotash meets jumping jehoshaphat. Lawd have mercy, look at Jessica Rabbit’s ass.

Hollowed out fiction meets babbling banter. The Natzis and Klan sprinkled in with a Panther.

Gongoozled by ecdysiasts. Eructations of a klutz. Maverick meets nincompoop. A Kate Spade clutch.

A pretentious pettifogger. A decanter of wine. Nocturnal nirvana. Pandiculation devine.

Friday fodder. A lagopodous shrine. Trump is a mugwump. Clinton a canine. 

Descriptive and clutch. Poetic and polite. A three legged crutch. Tonight is the night. 

“Hard writing makes easy reading”

“When you wish to instruct, be brief; that men’s minds take in quickly what you say, learn its lesson, and retain it faithfully. Every word that is unnecessary only pours over the side of a brimming mind.”

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”

“The finest language is mostly made up of simple in imposing words.”

King Me

The clock is ticking
So few understand
Without a war we haven’t a leg to stand
Our media is corrupt
Journalism no more
Our own President seems like a hypocritical whore

Sony is a screen
Social media smoke if you will
That sound on your roof likely isn’t reindeer
And why panic now
You laughed all along
What fun is there in proving someone wrong
Now enjoy Christmas
Be merry and junk
Maybe Santa will have 18 trillion in the trunk

*Occasionally, religion gets in the way of common sense.
*Those requiring proof of forthcoming storms are found dead after the storm passes.
*Intelligence is its own handicap.
*Scratch a lie. Find a thief.
*Skeet happens. Wipe and move on.
*If a deaf kid swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
*Digging up the past makes your hands dirty.

Donald Sterling: The REAL Story

Magic Johnson had already bitten off all of his fingernails.  He sat lonely in his office flipping back and forth between playoff basketball games.  He tried to make himself watch baseball, but he just couldn’t.  Owning the Dodgers wasn’t even going to change that.  He needed to breath basketball again…

Donald Sterling is a Jewish attorney from Chicago.  So let’s be clear, he is likely a racist old bastard.  However, I’m not going to speak about anything he may, or may not, have said in the privacy of his own home.  Not only is it not my business, it isn’t even relevant what any company owner says in their own homes.  If we are all being honest with one another, we are all bigots for a moment or two each and every week.  Before we start casting stones, let’s take a look at how this alleged recording was obtained.

This lady in question is obviously a gold digging ho (the wife confirms she is, in fact, a gold digging ho).  I don’t think anyone will question that though.  Donald’s wife is currently suing the whore for extorting $1.8M from the family.  The whore also has over 100 hours worth of additional recordings in her possession.  If you follow someone around for months on end, it is likely you will catch them saying something.  Hell, ask any woman that has looked through my phone and she will claim to have found something…

The real story here is the power play that Magic Johnson has made here.  I’m not sure if he paid the gal or if his asian backers are paying her, but it’s pretty obvious Donald has been setup.  The two supposed pictures in question are of Magic Johnson and one of his own players, Matt Kemp.  How convenient.

Further, the news broke during the playoffs.  The Clippers will tank from here ensuring outrage in LA (inevitably $$$$ lost for Sterling) and eventually lead to Sterling selling the team.  Hell, Magic even has his buddy Obama commenting on the issue.  How convenient.

Less than 2 days after the tape surfaced, Magic has already confirmed that he will do the league a favor and buy the Clippers.  How convenient.

At the end of the day, most knowledgeable sports fans would rather see Magic running the Clippers than Sterling.  HOWEVER, the moment we start crucifying people for things they say in the safety of their own home is the day that the police state has become too much for me to bare.   Hanging people without a trial isn’t any cooler today than it was hundreds of years ago.

People should stop condemning Donald.  They should start commending Magic.  This was, in fact, his greatest assist, yet.  Sit back and enjoy the show.  This is just starting to get good.  I can only imagine it ends exactly as it did for Frank McCourt and the Dodgers.  Oh yeah, Magic and his investors just finished up doing this exact same thing across town…how convenient.

  • “The robb’d that smiles, steals something from the thief; He robs himself that spends a bootless grief.”~ William Shakespeare
  • “All human beings have three lives: public, private, and secret.” ~ Gabriel Garcia Marquez
  • “Solitude sometimes is best society.” ~ John Milton
  • “If you read someone else’s diary, you get what you deserve.” ~ David Sedaris

Clyde Bundy: The REAL story

Over the past few weeks, we have seen Nevada farmland turn into the greatest political theater on Earf.  Republicans and Democrats are enjoying the free press while the media/government (they are 1 now, after-all) are busy trying to turn this into a racist and political issue.  The truth is that this case has absolutely nothing to do with politics or race.  Nevada just happens to be a swing state.

Clyde Bundy is not the enemy.  Clyde is pointing out that the government is now the enemy.  While I do not agree with all of Clyde’s opinions, I do appreciate the point he is making (as most any American should if they understood the real problem here).  This has nothing to do with Clyde not paying his taxes or trying to “mooch” off the government (or us as taxpayers if you buy that shit…).

Cliven Bundy has claimed the land on which he was grazing his cattle belonged to the state, not the federal government, and that’s why he chose not to pay federal grazing fees.  He tried to pay the state this money MANY times over.

“A federal court decided that it belonged to the federal government, and that position was upheld on appeal,” Napolitano said. “Now, that is a decision that never should have been made by a federal court, for two reasons. The federal government should never be in a position in which it is deciding on the extent of its own power … And secondly, when you have a dispute over real estate, there’s a universal principle of law everywhere in the United States of America … that real estate disputes are resolved by state courts.

This is no different than me paying my state business privilege taxes for a quarter century and then the state using that money to buy my business.  Does anyone else not realize that the government is the one that is overstepping here?  Are you too ignorant from the media’s constant bigotry and racist attacks to see the REAL story?  Of course you are.  The koolaid is too good to put down.

This morning I read where Clyde said “negro” and was shunned.  I also read where he compared our government to plantation owners.  Clyde certainly isn’t much of a speaker.  However, the words he said are spot on, IMO.  Blacks on welfare are no different than “blacks picking cotton.”  Seriously folks.  He has a damn good point.  I suppose blacks still support the government and Democratic Party because they are awaiting their ’40 acres and a mule’.  If not for that, it baffles me just like homosexuals being pro Hillary/pro-Democrat even though her husband Bill was the one that damned gays in the first place (DOMA).

We should also understand that the government at any time could just place a lien against the property and when Cliven passes the government would get it’s money but the government swooped in with snipers, dogs and tasers to collect. What’s the hurry to get the money?  I keep waiting on Obama to step out in the rose garden and say, “Cliven could have been my son…..”

Hypocrisy is the name of the game.  Keep bashing those of us who are trying to protect our country and you will soon learn why socialism always fails…..BECAUSE very soon the have’s will get tired of taking care of the have not’s.  You can bank on that.  Lord knows I’m nearly there myself.

Rant over.  Back to supporting the millions who are clowning on Clyde…

Oh yeah….As for the REAL story here…..well, most anyone who follows politics knows that Harry Reid has made his fortune through uncanny stock market fortune and shady land deals in Nevada.  This was really just all about taking care of one of his biggest contribution hares by changing the environmental zoning to allow a new solar project next spring (hence the sudden rush to get Clyde off the property).  Unfortunately, Harry must have forgotten that the tortoise beats the hare in the end…

This is Paul Harvey….Good Day.

  • “Whatever the cost of our libraries, the price is cheap compared to that of an ignorant nation.” ~ Walter Cronkite
  • “Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
  • “Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.”~ Aldous Huxley
  • “The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.”~ Daniel Boorstin

Republics Come. Republics Go.

Politics encompass so many things.  Sometimes people get so caught up in politics that they forget to think on their own.  Rather than deciding how a particular issue effects themselves, their families, or most importantly, the majority of the population, people constantly support a
Crip (Blue Ties) or a Blood (Red Ties).

Politics is a dirty game.  In America, we currently have 2 monarchs to choose from each year.  You can choose the blue monarch that will ensure government runs each and every industry.  He/She wants to eliminate the 1%’s and socialize America.  That’s right liberals, in your purest form you are socialists.  FDR formed your current party with a socialist agenda that is still true today.  The party caters to minorities to such degree that it might as well be called the minority rights party.

Your other choice is the red tied monarch.  He wants to limit government.  He/She operates under the premise that those who work hard will have.  Those who do not work will perish. It is capitalism in it’s purest form.

Now, knowing my history as well as I do, I can tell you that neither party will last in the long run.  Capitalism cannot survive anymore than socialism can.  Each party is as ignorant as the other is.  The trick is to find balance and compromise.  That’s why I only vote for independents.  IF we can drum up 9 Independents this November we can remove the power from both the libtards and wingnuts.  We can stop the ‘political kiting’ process that has consumed American politics.

Wake up, Merica.

PS.  Not one single time is the word democracy used in our constitution.  Think about that just a moment.

PSS.  A little story I read today that was too funny not to share:

“Recently, while I was working in the flower beds in the front yard, my neighbors stopped to chat as they returned home from walking their dog.

During our friendly conversation, I asked their little girl what she wanted to be when she grew up.
She said she wanted to be President some day.
Both of her parents, Democratic Party members were standing there, so I asked her, “If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?”
She replied… “I’d give food and houses to all the homeless people.”
Her parents beamed with pride!
“Wow…what a worthy goal!” I said.
“But you don’t have to wait until you’re President to do that!” I told her.
“What do you mean?” she replied.

So I told her, “You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and trim my hedge, and I’ll pay you $50. Then you can go over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.”

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, “Why doesn’t the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?”

I said, “Welcome to the Republican Party.”

Her parents aren’t speaking to me anymore. ”

  • “There never was a democracy yet that did not commit suicide.” ~ John Adams
  • A Mrs. Powel of Philadelphia asked Benjamin Franklin, “Well, Doctor, what have we got, a republic or a monarchy?” With no hesitation whatsoever, Franklin responded, “A republic, if you can keep it.” (We haven’t had a republic since 2001ish)
  • “War is peace.  Freedom is slavery.  Ignorance is strength.” ~ George Orwell
  • “Living is Easy with Eyes Closed.”~ John Lennon


Death of Language

Over the past decade I have noticed a sharp decline in communication.  With all the technology in the world most people think it is much easier to communicate.  After-all, you are just a few clicks away from seeing someone across the world for a face to face talk, right?  Well, that is true, kinda.  While we may have better access to communicate, our ability to communicate is getting worse by the day.

Just look at the constant use of emoticons/emojis.  Grown men and women send me these things now.  Are people too dumb to type out a full sentence or do they struggle with making a point so badly that they need a hashtag after they speak to ensure their comment is not misconstrued?

What about the people who can only discuss things that are being discussed on facebook/twitter/reddit that day?  There isn’t a day that passes that someone reiterates something they heard on the “news’ to me.  Most have no idea if what they are even saying is true aside from the fact that the “news” peddled it to them as gospel. Most scholars think the world is getting dumber by the day.  They estimate that the average IQ on the planet has dropped about 10 points in the past 100 years.  Do people even know how to think on their own anymore?

What happened to philosophers and history books?  Where did those who love to teach and write go?  Our youth are being constantly manipulated by the very government we entrust.  People are voting for things that are counter-productive to their own interests and don’t even realize it.  Those who are gifted with riches or brains are shunned by society.  Envy and self entitlement have drowned our society into The Styx.

  • “I have great faith in fools – self-confidence my friends will call it.”~ Edgar Allen Poe
  • “Talk, talk, talk: the utter and heartbreaking stupidity of words.” ~ William Faulkner
  • “You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.”~ Abraham Lincoln
  • “Any fool can make a rule And any fool will mind it.”~ Henry David Thoreau


Banking in 2014: The Death Derivative

Over the past year, banking deaths or “suicides” as they are routinely tagged, have been on the rise. Any idea why?  Seems pretty odd that as many people are falling to their death from penthouse offices as there are steelworkers 2,000 feet high, doesn’t it?

First, to help you understand, let’s take a look at Wal-Mart. About a decade or so ago, someone obtained an inner-office memo between a high ranking Wal-Mart official and their insurance agency. In the memo, the high ranking official is upset with the insurance agency because Wal-Mart didn’t make any money that particular year through insurance. Wait….make money on insurance? Yup…

Ever wonder why Wal-Mart only hires people half as smart as you? Ever think, I bet that person is not only handicapped, but too dumb to know their left from their right? We all have at some point I bet. Lord knows, I would consider a Wal-Mart ‘greeter’ as the lowest IQ job on the planet. This probably makes you ask yourself. Why on earth would a large company hire twice as many incapable employees when they could hire some qualified individuals in this economy?

What if you took out insurance policies on all of your employees? Most businesses couldn’t afford to do this as it would take a large amount of capital to pay out on thousands of policies for 10+ years before having a chance to collect a return on your investment. WalMart not only had the money, but the brains to realize that if they hired people with short life expectancies, they would make a return on their investment MUCH quicker. Ethical? Nah. Moral. Nah. A money maker? Of course.

This brings me back to that leaked memo. In the memo, the agent explains to the official that WalMart didn’t make a return that particular year because several of the deaths were suicides (most insurance policies do NOT pay out for suicides).

Now this brings me your next history lesson. Around this same time, in 2007, banks created a Life Index. That’s right, a way to more/less invest in deaths. (Hell, they had to do something since the real estate bubble we were living in had popped) In late 2013, these indexes became burdened for several reasons. Now, you are starting to see the deaths of many high ranking and predominately young (younger the better for a payout) bankers.

In Layman’s terms, this means that banks are betting that people die sooner rather than later. That is because these same banks will need to pay the insurance companies if they have to payout more money than they had actuarially predicted because the people they cover are living longer. The bottom line is that these banks are looking to profit from early deaths. The longer the insured individuals live beyond an agreed upon average age, the more the bank must reimburse the insurance companies. Not to mention that most employers have policies on these high ranking officials already. I suppose double dipping never tasted so good.

  • “To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.” ~ J.K. Rowling
  • “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” ~ Mark Twain
  • “A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.” ~Oscar Wilde